A Note on Airports

I’m currently sitting in MIA in the land of palm trees and humidity levels best described by Dave Barry as feeling like someone has “thrown a wet towel over your face.” No really, it almost feels hard to breath.

But as I sit here waiting for my plane to Buenos Aires (4 hours and counting!) I decided I had to write a little blub about the hilarity of airports. Perhaps I’m just overly excited about my destination and that has made this trip far more thrilling and funny to me, but ever since Mom and Dad dropped me off this morning at DIA, I’ve been finding entertainment in just about everything.

For starters, as we climbed out of Denver headed for Miami, I noticed that we seemed to level off sooner than I expected, headed straight for a cloud which I think we could have easily cleared had we gone just a bit higher. Of course entering this cloud resulted in turbulence, and I couldn’t help wondering if the crew up front was pulling a move like the Gary Larson cartoon shown at right. I’m no pilot, but it would seem to me that flying straight into a cloud would be great cover for “more turbulence.”

Next, I had to pull out my Sky Mall magazine, which always entertains me. Here are some of the more hilarious of the items available for purchase:

• ·         Bling Dental Products: The Diamond Ultrasonic Toothbrush – My favorite part was the before and after photos of a woman who had used the product. The only difference was that she was wearing bright red lipstick in the “after” photograph. Nicely done Bling Dental.

• ·         LitterKwitter: “Potty train your cat faster than most people can potty train their kids” – I’d like to think this advertisement is claiming as fact that cats are indeed smarter than humans.

• ·         Hot Dog Leash: “It’s funny even if you don’t have a weiner dog. If you do, then it’s hilarious!” – No comment

Then I entered the part of the magazine which uses “The” in front of every article, as if you should have heard of the product a million times and its world-wide famousness and usefulness is obvious. For example “The Genuine Navy Seal Watch” which would probably stand up to this description if not for the next item, “The Genuine Bamboo Tiki Bar,” which sort of steals its thunder.

My favorite item though? “The Peeing Boy of Brussels” Statue & Fountain. I would attach the picture, but I’m sure your imagination is doing far better.

Finally, flying into Miami, I noticed Floridian civil engineers have thought it smart to paint “Merge” with large arrows pointing to which lane motorists should change to on their highways. I couldn’t help but wonder if this novelty would be affective in California. What do you think Jim Parker?

In all seriousness, I’m so excited to be in Miami especially because so much Spanish is already happening all around me! I’m thinking it will be a nice transition. The next time I post I’ll be in South America! Can’t wait!

Lisa en Argentina

P.S. A quick shout out to the big burly black man who shared a row with me and is the proud owner of a pink and purple flower print JanSport backpack. You don’t know me, but you’re my hero.